To Lie or Not to Lie in the Online Dating World

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When one considers entering the world of online dating, it brings up many questions.  “To Lie or Not to Lie” is the question for today’s topic.  At first glance this may seem like a question with an obvious answer.  But when looking at it through the lens of online dating it gets a little more complicated.

This quandary comes up when starting the process of online dating and completing your profile.  The first time is perhaps when entering your age.  People often wonder if they should put their real age or put something else.  They think I don’t feel like my age; I don’t act like my age; I don’t want to meet someone my age.  Age is just a number in the online dating world; but that number may be the difference in being included in someone else’s search or not.  When people search online they list several attributes they are looking for and age is one of the criteria people search under.  So if you are 46 you miss the cut off if someone picks to search in the category of up to 45 year olds.  So the question as to whether you lie or not becomes very relevant in terms of whether you will be seen in people’s searches.

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Am I “Enjoying the Moment” Enough? A Note to New Parents

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I am writing this while my young daughter naps. I think to myself, “Type! Type faster… Hurry!” However, my thoughts and feelings about being a parent race faster than my fingers can move. Motherhood is so much more than a word. It is a feeling, an identity, and a way of life. People say when you have children your own life is on-hold, your individual identity gone. But, no; with parenthood, life is expanded. As a psychologist and parent, I integrate professional knowledge with personal experience. Most importantly, I apply the information in a way that makes sense for my daughter and me. I certainly don’t have all of the answers, but I remain conscious of our individual relationship as it evolves day to day. This blog is a glimpse into my process.

When you first bring your child home, you may still be in a daze that you now have a little person with you. Each day you gain insight about who this little one is and what your unique rhythm will be. I come from a large family, so I was fortunate enough to be comfortable with babies. However, when it is your own child, there are different feelings, responsibilities, exhaustion, as well as a noticeable decline in the ability to retain information. (The other day as I worked on my computer, I noticed the battery was depleted. Determined to charge my computer before it shut down, I ran to the kitchen. A few minutes later I sat back at my computer with only a chocolate chip cookie in hand…no charger in sight!) I know in the first few weeks I felt overwhelmed with love and also just plain overwhelmed. I didn’t always know what my daughter needed, everywhere I turned there was a new “break-through” theory in parenting or a must-have baby product. Not to mention, I was crying at any news story, good or bad, about a child. Advice could be found on every subject ? food, products, schedules, pediatricians, shots, sleep, classes. I could go on and on.

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Smiling Depression – Nothing to Smile About

Rita Labeaune, Psy.D

How many people do you imagine look happy but feel very different on the inside?  Typically depressed people are depicted as being bed-ridden and incapable of functioning.  What may or may not be surprising is that approximately 15% of the population is suffering from depression.  Not everyone experiences depression the same way.  For some they might not even realize that they are, in fact depressed, especially if they seem like they’re managing their day-to-day life.  It doesn’t seem possible that someone can be smiling, functioning, and depressed.  In my practice, those that are the most surprised to realize they’re experiencing from some form of depression are those suffering from “smiling depression.”

Most people have never heard of the term “smiling depression”.  The definition of smiling depression is: appearing happy to others, and literally smiling, but internally suffering with depressive symptoms.  Smiling depression often goes undetected and isn’t dealt with directly.  Those suffering may discount their own feelings and brush them aside.  They might not even be aware of their depression, or they might feel embarrassed, or they fear of being “weak.”

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