The Questions that Come with Adoption

The following article was written for from an interview conducted with Family Resource Counseling Center therapist Lisa Cobey, LMFT.

The original article can be viewed at:

I was adopted, day 1 minute 1 after being born – my Mother, not my biological Mother, was actually the first one to hold me. Many people have asked me about when I was told I was adopted. The truth is, I don’t remember. There was no ‘big reveal’, it was something I always knew – I was told about it in a positive light for as long as I can remember. As a matter of fact, it was always told to me in such a positive light that the only ‘big adoption moment’ I remember is finding out that my Mom wasn’t adopted herself.

(…and thinking – what?! Poor her – does she feel less special?!)


School Tragedy in Connecticut – Personal Thoughts and Professional Suggestions


Upon hearing the horrific news of a mass killing at the Sandy Hook, CT Elementary School today, like you, my heart is broken and my mind reeling.  As a mental health therapist who specializes in working with young children and families, and as a new mother, it is difficult for me to fathom the unimaginable grief of the parents of the victims, survivors, first responders, and community at large.  What would cause someone to commit such a heinous act? I am trying to wrap my mind around how this could have been prevented.  My immediate suggestion for anyone intimately or vicariously connected to the tragedy is to seek professional help – whether it be a school counselor or mental health clinic – the best way to deal with trauma is to process your feelings in a nurturing, supportive environment as soon as possible.

It feels as if we hear about random acts of mass violence in the U.S. all too frequently ever since “Columbine” has become synonymous with the infamous school shooting in 1999.  <Note: gives a detailed timeline of incidents since Columbine and indicates that the Brady Campaign reported approximately 20 mass shootings per year with an apparent increase in 2012 so far.>  Since the mass shooting in Columbine by 2 troubled teenagers, change has occurred in terms of awareness regarding bullying.  New curriculum and policies have been established for many school districts across the nation.  We can only hope that this is yet another “wake-up” call for America to focus on the mental health needs of our children, who will one day either become healthy, high functioning adults, or god forbid one of the troubled souls who forever changes the lives of the innocent and vulnerable.