To Lie or Not to Lie in the Online Dating World


When one considers entering the world of online dating, it brings up many questions.  “To Lie or Not to Lie” is the question for today’s topic.  At first glance this may seem like a question with an obvious answer.  But when looking at it through the lens of online dating it gets a little more complicated.

This quandary comes up when starting the process of online dating and completing your profile.  The first time is perhaps when entering your age.  People often wonder if they should put their real age or put something else.  They think I don’t feel like my age; I don’t act like my age; I don’t want to meet someone my age.  Age is just a number in the online dating world; but that number may be the difference in being included in someone else’s search or not.  When people search online they list several attributes they are looking for and age is one of the criteria people search under.  So if you are 46 you miss the cut off if someone picks to search in the category of up to 45 year olds.  So the question as to whether you lie or not becomes very relevant in terms of whether you will be seen in people’s searches.

What about when it comes to hobbies or those guilty pleasures we all indulge in?  Do you list those and be truthful or do you omit them and figure when someone gets to know you a bit you will divulge that information?  How about pictures?  You are planning on losing 5-10 lbs soon anyways so should you post a picture when you looked that way?  You aren’t someone who wears makeup often but you have some great shots of you all dressed up with your hair and make up done so do you post those?

The best way to answer this question is by using the good old standard of the golden rule —do unto others as you want others to do unto you.  Lets just say you are waiting for your first meeting with someone you have emailed a few times with online.  You are expecting a certain person to walk up to you and no doubt your hopes are a bit up and then the next thing you know you are talking to someone you don’t recognize for some reason.  Either they are much older, younger, less attractive than the pictures you had seen.  Or if they look like the pictures maybe there personality isn’t matching up to what you had read about them.


No matter what the case may be you are let down and feel a little deceived.  Yes it is possible to sometimes get passed the deception and realize there may still be a connection but the truth is you were deceived once by this person and is that really how you want to start a relationship.  So if you don’t want this done to you then be honest in your profiles.  Use your real age, real hobbies, real pictures.

One Response to “To Lie or Not to Lie in the Online Dating World”

  1. October 29th, 2013 at 5:56 pm

    Mike Krpan says:

    Great topic for discussion. I have been on for a few months. Gone out with a couple women. One was really not much like her photos. The other was exactly the way she presented herself, which she did with several photos. We have met for several dates. Getting to know her, but it doesn’t appear that we will be the kind of special connection that we both seek. When I am viewing a prospective Match member’s profile, I am more likely to look at the one’s that have several photos. The more the better. Its easy enough to tell which photos are more recent and accurately representative of the actual person.

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